and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
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He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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