omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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