we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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