Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
