drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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