I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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