Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
