Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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