My hand turned me down
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
