how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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