to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
