i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
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