how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
