im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
