Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He did a backflip because drugs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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