his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
