Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
