He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That's intense
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
