So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize