she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
