fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
