dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
