Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize