When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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