When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
