Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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