The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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