I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
