Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
