i would punch a child for taco bell
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
