Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
