And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Come on in and take your pants off
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