just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
