i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
