My hand turned me down
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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