hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
