You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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