So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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