If i come over, it means nothing
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think my moral compass just broke
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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