careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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