i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize