Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
