bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
