They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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