it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
