her vagine was all disorganized.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
