Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
