i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
