You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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