It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
