Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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