Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
