dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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