The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
