Tell her she can't have a vagina
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
