he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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