i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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