I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
