is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
