I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
