I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize