If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
