This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize