Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
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I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
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I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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