i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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