after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
