I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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